But entrepreneur, relationship expert and co-author of Relationship, Are You Sure You Want One, Simone Milasas, has developed a concept that can help you rewire your thinking around financial contributions to relationships and change yours for the better.
“If you make money more significant than the relationship then there will be problems,” Milasas tells Women’s Health.
So instead of looking at monetary contributions to your partnership, Milasas suggests focusing on “love currencies”.
“It is basically about the contribution you can both be to each other,” she explains. Rather than keep a score card it’s about acknowledging what the other person is contributing from a holistic perspective. “What if it wasn’t about a gender role but about ‘creationship’ and what you can create together.”
In her experience with co-author and ex-partner Brendon Watt their “currency” wasn’t based on money, but creating a future that worked for both of them.
“Brendon at the time wasn’t making as much as I was,” Milasas says. “But I saw all the different places and ways in which Brendon was contributing that weren’t necessarily monetary contributions, yet they were massive contributions nevertheless.”
It’s important to value contributions like housework and emotional labour just as highly as cold hard cash.
“I remember the times I was working on my computer all day. In the evening, I would sit at the kitchen bench with a glass of wine while he cooked us a fabulous meal. That, to me, is creating together. That, to me, is the contribution we both can be while enjoying what we each do. He would do other things as well like making sure our renovation on our house would go smoothly, go to the super market. So, it is important to make sure you look at where the other person is contributing.”
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